Monday, February 25, 2013

Queen Vashti Rocks!

  Today I felt like reading about major female figures in the Bible, and since the book of Esther is "jacked up" as far as numerical order in my bible, I thought I could try to read and understand it.  Some parts of the Bible bother me, and there were a few verses in Esther that definitely bothered me.
  For anyone who is familiar with the story of Esther, the story seems to weave romance, suspense, and vindication all into a beautiful story of God's people.  The Jewish people face annihilation, only to have their fate held in the faithful hands of Esther.  As a woman, Esther holds so much power, more power than is generally attributed to a woman.  But she has to be sneaky about it.
  The entire reason that Esther is even in the position of Queen to King Ahasuerus is that Queen Vashti, the original wife/queen, was deposed because of her pride.  And I can't blame her one bit...
  Imagine it--you are a beautiful and desirable woman, who happens to be a queen to a king who is powerful and rich.  Your husband loves to throw lavish parties to show off all of his riches to all of his big-shot and important friends, where they get drunk and stupid.  The trade-off is that you are rich and you can wear beautiful clothes and jewelry, and enjoy your own parties with your friends. There is just one drawback--you are also property--like the finest linen, expensive jewelry, you are simply an adornment.  And when your husband is feeling especially good and ostentatious, you have to go and parade around in front of his drooling, drunk friends.  And as property you have no rights, the King will take "no refusal."  When Queen Vashti refused to be sent for as a party favor, a base form of amusement for a bunch of inebriated idiots, I fist-pumped and hooted "You rock, Queen Vashti! Don't let a man treat you like a possession!  You are more than a beauty contestant." 
  However, I would be banished right there with Vashti.  The King and his officials were  angry with her refusal to obey the King's command, and were even afraid that she would become a model to their wives and the wives of men all over, powerful and impoverished.  If she wasn't made into an example, women all over might decide to think for themselves and refuse to obey their husbands' commands.  Women were only allowed to be objects of beauty, bear their husband his line of heirs, and obey his commands.
  Apparently in the Old Testament, that is exactly the position of a woman in biblical times.  Some of the women did take their surrounding situations into their own hands and changed the history of their people.  Judith used her beauty to enamor the commander of King Nebuchadnezzar, Holofernes, and by cutting off his head she thwarts the destruction of the Jewish people.  Delilah used her beauty and excessive nagging to learn Samson's secret and handed him over to the Philistines, contributing to his eventual destruction.  Not only are these women beautiful to behold, but the true "great" women were also submissive, wise--as in the art of supplicating to a man--and faithful.  Ruth was loyal to her mother-in-law and accompanied her to a foreign land and followed her instructions to the letter.  Instructions that had her lay at the feet of Boaz on the threshing floor, which if caught, she would be assumed as his "evening entertainment" and her value subsequently ruined. Queen Vashti might have had trouble with resigning herself to behaving as a man's plaything. Perhaps she was one of the original feminists, or maybe she was just fed up with the drunken demands of her husband.  Whatever her reasons, I found that I identified with her more than Esther.  
  Esther used her beauty, and her genteel manner to catch the attention of the king.  Not only did she catch the eye of King Ahasuerus, but she also found favor with the King's eunuch who was in charge of his harem.  She was a model example of a woman--beautiful, dainty (she fainted when she first approaches the King and he falls all over her in concern), and proper, knowing when to approach her king, and when to be quietly invisible.  She believed in God, and put her faith and love of her people ahead of her own life.  Esther, the perfect queen, used her intelligence to trick her enemy, Haman, and saved her beloved Jewish people from annhilation. She was simply perfect.
  Sometimes women aren't perfect.  Most of the time we're like Queen Vashti and want to be our own person, not someone else's property.  It's great to feel loved and valued, but more so for our inner self. Ideal beauty and the readiness to submit to a masculine culture should not be the scale in which we assess our value.  It is not wrong to want to be desirable, or clever, or faithful to those who are worthy of such loyalty.  It is wrong to hide your true potential underneath an empty facade of inequality.  I love my husband, and we share mutual respect, but I am not his property.  I am his partner, and I have my own opinion, and unfortunately for those around me, I express it readily and often.  I will not be silenced if I feel that what I must say is true or important, and I hope God feels that he can use me just as readily as he has used Ruth, Esther, and Judith , and so many important women in the bible.  I just hope he lets me do it with my own twist.  I WANT TO ROCK!
  

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Not Paradise Lost, But Paradise Unrecognized

   I was reading this morning in Genesis about Eve--how she came to be, her life within the Garden of Eden, and at last her downfall.  I couldn't help but wonder why would someone who is given everything beautiful, new and pure in a virtual paradise risk their happiness for the unknown? Imagine it...a beautiful warm and green and lush place that is filled with every kind of tantalizing fruits, the animals and birds fearless and friendly, and the pristine environment surrounding you with a quiet peace.  And to live in this Paradise, all you have to do is not eat from one little tree.  One tree, out of every tree in the garden.  One type of fruit that was forbidden.  How could Eve let herself be manipulated into giving everything up for something she wasn't even sure would be worth it?   
   I shook my head as I read about Eve, and I did the usual tsk-tsking.  But as I thought back to my past, I realized that I was very much like Eve.  When I was a child I felt that so much excitement and wonder awaited me--as soon as I grew up.  Everything would be better when I could do all the things that grown ups do.  Don't get me wrong, there are so many wonderful things that I enjoy doing that only grown ups should do, but I missed so many things by not living in the moment.  Maybe my memory has put a golden haze on my past, as my childhood did have it's hurts and humiliations, but the older I get, the more cherished my memories become.  I grew up with two wonderful brothers, a cousin who was like a sister, and a beautiful farm where we raised cattle, chickens, and hogs.  I had favorite pets who were more like close friends, and I didn't need constant television, games, or movies to entertain me.  I had an amazing imagination.  I know that I was blessed, and my cup was filled to the brim and continued to flow with all the good things in life.  However, I wanted what I didn't know, what I didn't have any experience with.  I felt like I was missing out on something...I was always eager to do what was the next big thing.
   Eve saw her chance for the next big thing--she would be like God in the sense that she would know the difference between right and wrong.  It is highly possible that she didn't realize the ramifications of such a knowledge, but she knew that she wanted to be like God.  God who knew everything, who created such an awe-inspiring paradise.  Eve's mistake, like mine, was that she didn't focus on the gift of the here and now...what was unknown was much more enticing.  Like Eve, I had a taste of paradise...I enjoyed growing up with the freedom to live, love others freely, and enjoy the beauty of my surroundings, and I continued to look to the beyond.  I missed the point of life as a growing child.  The beauty in life was realized in an afterthought, not the focus of the present.  I only hope that I can impress upon my daughter, that today is the focus, the present is paradise.  Looking ahead has its value, but it shouldn't remain at the obsessive forefront.  I want her to be in the moment, to revel in the here and now, not years from now when bills, illness, heartbreak, and loss of close ones prevail in adult life.  The innocence of childhood should be held closely to our hearts, and valued as treasure.  That is the paradise we should be content to live within.