I grew up in the Angola Methodist church, just 1 1/2 miles from my home. My home is where my great-grandfather decided to purchase land for his farm, and I am living in the original homestead that he built with his own hands, and where the third generation currently remains. My great-great Grandfather, William "Skipper" Traxson was a long-standing member of the Angola Methodist church and helped to establish the church that is such a large part of my life. My father always instilled in his children a great love of history and pride in our family history, and I hope that I can instill the same love of history in my daughter. And in thinking of this history of family intertwined in church family, I have enjoyed reminscing this week about growing up in the Christmas seasons, and all of the blessings and joys I received during this time of year.
My childhood was a happy existence. We were never well-to-do, but we were never without, either. We had food, clothes, a warm place to live, and so much land to explore that we were some of the most imaginative children you could find. My brothers did the occasional sport, but most of the time we were stay at home kids, and this in turn led to the excitement of Christmas at our church. Oh, the thrill of decorating not only the freshly cut cedar tree at our own house, but getting together at our church and decorating with all the other church members, eating delicious treats, and playing with the other children. And the wonderful programs...I loved them so. I always loved to sing, whether my knees knocked together or not, and at the end of the program we would receive a brown paper sack filled with exotic nuts, apples and oranges, then go on to hot coffee for the grown-ups, and hot chocolate for the children with cookies and treats afterwards. I would curl against my grandmother in the back of her large Impala and stare out at the clear, bright skies and search for same star that had led the three Kings to where Jesus lay in a small manger, and think of our own barn as we headed the short distance home. How neat would it be to sleep with the cows and donkeys in a warm barn, surrounded by the smell of hay and animals! (I was an odd child, I must admit.) And to enjoy the beautiful and joyous hyms before and after Christmas made the season precious to me.
I know I'm getting older now, the season has new meaning than when I was a child, and sometimes it saddens me. I lost my wonderful grandmother and father, and the seasons differ somehow, but in a way have become so much more important to me. I suffered from a terminal disease, and I am working hard at enjoying every blessing of each day, especially during the holidays, because I almost lost that beautiful time with my family during the Christmas season. Many times I am ashamed of myself, the bitter anger I feel when the world slaps our faces with injustice, starvation, sickness, and death. Many times I react with anger when I should reach out with love. I focus on the trivialities of life, when I need to step back and examine the full picture. But almost losing my life in this world with my loved ones helped me to refocus on the most beautiful gift of Christmas, and in life itself. The gift of Jesus' birth blessed all of us, He was born to give His unconditional love to each one of us. Without that gift, this season would have no meaning for me. It would be an empty promise of material merchandise without the joy and fulfillment of a pure love that surrounds each of us, supporting us in our darkest moments to our brightest joys.
So amid the rush and chaos of the season, where media shouts at us that we won't be happy unless we buy the latest gadget, or we won't be cool if we don't smell like an underwear model, take a moment to step back and simply breathe, enjoying the warmth that surrounds and fills your heart and soul. That is the gift of Christmas that we truly need, and desperately desire, the love of Christ so pure and unconditional that he came to every one of us without prejudice or bias. A beautiful gift that is entirely the reason for the season.
