July 21st was my official one month anniversary of receiving a new, healthy kidney. I was incredibly blessed that the kidney worked so well and so quickly in me; I spent very little time in the hospital after the transplant. My labs have been wonderful, and I have kept up with all of my medications, even throwing back a handful by the end of the first month like a pro.
However, I have had some real emotional issues...it could be the high doses of Prednisone I'm on right now, or it could very well be that I have been restricted from my beloved running. The mere exercise of running kept my head up through the ordeal of dialysis, and kept me in a positive frame of mind. And I can't run yet...the left thigh/hip is extremely weak from the cut muscles on my left side. I just want to cry sometimes, and it's ridiculous, because I have been given so much. But running wasn't just exercise, something to do, it was my therapy, my mental relief for when everything became too much. When my anger grew to rage I could tie my running shoes on and grab my mp3 of favorite running songs and fly down the road until my anger cooled and I gained some perspective. Now that release is missing, and I'm not a very nice person at times.
So here it is...I am going to fight this furious rage with something positive. I will spend more time reading the Bible...it always tends to calm me. I will find some kind of deep core exercises to work my body into exhaustion so that when I can I will be able to run, I will run even better than ever. And if I ever get snappy with any of you, feel free to put me in my place. I need a wake-up call every now and then. Because I am truly blessed, I just need to find another way to achieve inner peace for now. And if any of you have any suggestions for me...feel free to share. To inner peace!
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